It’s been a long while since I’d written anything. Wonder what happened. Wonder why I’d stopped writing. Then, a question (or a realization rather) pops out, “is it that I only write of dismal things?” or that “I can only write when I am in one of those darker episodes?”.
Funny how I came to realize what I’d been missing…writing…thoughts…randomness…confusion…
You see, I’m having one of the greatest adventures in my life. Out of the comforts of home and basking under the sun in a strange island. The island’s not strange really. I’m the stranger here. For the past month, I’ve been the lowly observer. I worked, slept, prepared for work, and worked again. The cycle went on for more than a month.
Then, last Wednesday, out of nowhere, a question came popping right out of my sleepless and restless mind: “WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING NOW?” Philosophically and Physics-wise, that would be relative to the time and space that the inquirer deems right. Logically and obviously, that would be lying in bed half asleep. Unfortunately, like a deranged psychopath who just got injected with a sedative, I stopped dead at the feeling of utter confusion. Being weird that I am I was baffled by the question. I couldn’t get my mind off the idea. (My mind instinctively, and almost automatically, complicates easy, straight up questions as much as it easily simplifies complex and distorted ones). My mind just works that way I guess. >>no wonder it’s usually just me ending up laughing at my own jokes…sad but true<<
Should I really continue on being this mere observer who “mechanically” responds to every catalyst in such a way most appropriate for the event or do I want to LIVE MY LIFE? I chose the latter, which is why ended up writing this post (which everybody would ask as to how this would help with their own problems in life). I just decided to write random thoughts again.
I just remembered that I did mention about the darker episodes. Oh well, that’s worth another post. 🙂