I have never confronted a friend before. It’s something I never even thought of doing because I always thought of just letting them be.
So this thought (and act) was a first for me.
I thought about this for a few months really. Started with a story line, then a script. The things I should tell it (to keep the secrecy of its sexual orientation) and things I could just leave out. Then I rehearsed. I played the scene in my mind over and over again imagining how my facial and body expressions should be to avoid unintended reactions/interpretations). I procrastinated a lot trying to look for the right time, right place…right everything. I procrastinated because, ultimately, I DO NOT KNOW HOW IT WOULD TAKE MY “CRITICISMS”. I was missing out on the point, though. That I just had to tell it something important. And that this “something important” would help it a lot.
Well I decided to do it. I told it what I needed to tell it. I told it about things that it had been doing that it thought might not be “negative” but I mentioned that could be easily misinterpreted. I told it to be more careful with whatever “dealings” we would have with the client to avoid negative feedback from the client in terms of how our group handles projects. I pointed out how we could improve on it. (Yes, I am being careful with the words/information that I am sharing here). I also told it the improvements that I have seen that it has had over the course of our being together. And that I appreciated it a lot.
I might have looked so calm and so “poker faced”, but my heartbeat was racing and I was shaking inside…because I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ITS REACTION WOULD BE. I had been very pessimistic. I was waiting for its reaction. I was counting down until all hell would break lose.
But I was wrong. It was very receptive. It was very accepting. It was very thankful too. I gave a big sigh of relief. If I knew that would be its reaction, I would have done it months ago. I just did not know. I guess this is where people would say, You’ll never know until you’ve tried.
I guess I have resolved that if there will come a point in time where I have to do this again, I will always take note of this particular experience. My key takeaways: 1) Planning goes a long way, but it won’t take us to our destination. Implementing/Acting on our plans will., and 2) Never let my fear of the unknown hinder me from doing what is right.